


Just A Summer Dream

by hjertetssunnegalskap (Crazyheart)



Category: SKAM (Norway)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Different First Meeting, Anal Fingering, Dazed and Confused, Falling In Love, Fluff and Smut, Kisses, LLF Comment Project, Long Live Feedback Comment Project, M/M, Misunderstandings, Mutual Pining, Non-Linear Narrative, Summer Fling, Summer Vacation, a quickie because no time
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-24
Updated: 2019-04-24
Packaged: 2020-01-24 12:36:07
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,105
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18571639
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Crazyheart/pseuds/hjertetssunnegalskap
Summary: Even can’t tear his eyes from Isak’s lips. He knows that Isak knows, that he really doesn’t object to this situation at all. Isak might not know that Even could have said okay to almost anything at this moment, though. Even likes Isak so damn much. He knows that this thing is temporary. And yeah, he knows that to do this, here, probably is a stupid thing to do.  He knows that it’s just a summer fling and that he’s too invested and a quick fuck in this bathroom will do nothing to help that, but the thing is… he doesn’t have the energy to care. He wants Isak so much, and he wants himnow.





	Just A Summer Dream

**Author's Note:**

  * For [evakuality](https://archiveofourown.org/users/evakuality/gifts).



> I have been trying to crawl my way out of my writing spell. So, this was an attempt at writing a drabble for the smut prompts - Summer Fling - Dazed & Confused - A quickie because No Time - Fingering.  
> However, to write a short drabble proved to be difficult. I ended up with about 9 K words instead, lol. Thank you [Allie](https://archiveofourown.org/users/evakuality), for [prompting this on Tumblr](https://hjertetssunnegalskap1.tumblr.com/post/184427557165/okay-okay-now-that-i-finally-saw-your-prompt)! And thank you for beta reading, too! <3 This is a gift for you. 
> 
> I have had fun with this. Actually, it reminded me of my own love story (I had to go away for a couple of weeks just after I met my love, and I remember the weird mix of certainty/ uncertainty). So. Fun times. I hope you like it!

 

 

“So when you said, ‘Come here, Even, I gotta talk to you about something’,” Even says as Isak presses him against the wall and steps into his space, slotting himself between his thighs, his hands sliding up under Even’s t-shirt, “what you actually meant was ‘Come here, Even, so I can nail you against the wall instead of listening to the others making smalltalk’. Right?”

Even’s question is light, but his voice is hoarse and he’s dizzy and burning up. Isak’s skin is glistening and the nape of his neck damp as he tilts his head. “Shut up,” Isak says, mouthing at the curve of his neck. Even can feel that he’s smiling. “Are you complaining?”

His body is so warm against Even’s, and his arms are so strong. Even sighs. This is his first summer in the middle of Trøndelag and it surprises him that it can be so hot this far north. The air is still when there’s no breeze from the sea and he isn’t sure if he can stand the sweltering heat. And of course, it doesn’t help that Isak makes his mind spin. Everything is too hot and it’s difficult to breathe.

A lone drop of sweat makes its way down his back, leaving a trail of temporary coolness in its wake. He squirms. “Yes. I am absolutely complaining,” he mutters, and works his hands between them so he can start undoing the complicated buckle on Isak’s belt. “A public bathroom, Isak. Seriously. I mean. Don’t I deserve more?”

He’s joking, hoping that it hides the confused helplessness behind his words. He knows that this thing they have is soon going to be over.

Just the thought of it leaves a dull ache in his chest. He can’t show Isak how he feels though; he’s gotta keep it light and easy.

“Okay,” Isak says agreeably. Something fond turns up in his eyes before he smiles. “You deserve it all, Even.” He pulls back enough to grin at Even, then kisses him quickly on the mouth while his fingers make quick work of his belt and fly. “Later. If you like, we can save up to stay in a fucking hotel suite with champagne and roses or whatever. But you’re leaving soon, and for now, you’re going to have to settle for a blowjob. Here. I mean. If you want to.”

A hint of uncertainty shows up in his eyes, but as Even keeps silent, it disappears.

 _Later_ , Isak says _._ Will there be a later, though? Even’s skin tingles; buzzes with a mix of lust and nervousness. Isn’t this just a holiday thing? Just a summer dream that will fade away? Isn’t this impulsive… thing, happening in this bathroom right here and right now, their farewell fuck? In two hours, Even will leave, and who knows if or when they’ll ever see each other again. _Fuck_ , Even wants to see Isak again. He lets his head thunk back against the tile wall as Isak slides down to his knees. Even can’t think. His brain is fried and he doesn’t know if it’s because of the heat or because of the hungry look in Isak’s eyes. “I uh. Okay.”

“Okay?” Isak grins. “Just like that? No protests?”

Even can’t tear his eyes from Isak’s lips. He knows that Isak knows, that he really doesn’t object to this situation at all. Isak might not know that Even could have said okay to almost anything at this moment, though. Even likes Isak so damn much. He knows that this thing is temporary. And yeah, he knows that to do this, here, probably is a stupid thing to do.  He knows that it’s just a summer fling and that he’s too invested and a quick fuck in this bathroom will do nothing to help that, but the thing is… he doesn’t have the energy to care. He wants Isak so much, and he wants him _now_.

“Yeah,” he breathes.

“Good,” Isak says, and he’s grinning at Even, he’s almost laughing at him, but he’s also shoving Even’s jeans and boxers down and wrapping warm fingers around his cock, so Even really can’t bring himself to be that offended.

*

Everything starts, fittingly enough, right here, in this very same public bathroom, at this worn down diner in the middle of nowhere. It’s summer, and unbelievably warm, and Even has been through the worst period in his life, failing in school, losing his friends and breaking up with Sonja. Getting sick. Fucking up everything. Well, at least he has finally graduated now, and he has picked up things with his friends again, but he has no clue what he wants in life.

And he’s tired of fucking up, and tired of his life fucking _him_ up.

After everything happening lately, he’s pretty sure that he deserves an excellent summer. Travelling to this small godforsaken place in Trøndelag with his parents and sisters don’t quite fit that description, but if he’s honest with himself, it’s not too bad. A little too hot and a little too boring, but it’s surprisingly chill.

The camping site they’re staying at is right next to a lake, and it pretty calm. There are a few German tourists and some fishers. It’s chill, and they can choose to go sightseeing or go swimming or do nothing at all. The whole thing feels safe in a way. Like a breather before his real life starts up. Before he must decide what to do with the rest of his life.

Luckily, right now, he doesn’t have to decide anything. Right now, he’s eating out with his family at the only restaurant in the area, that’s more a diner slash bar than a restaurant. There's nothing slick about this place, no fancy fonts or white etching upon the glass. It’s mostly just dark wood and stone. Square wooden tables. You could probably pick the whole thing up and send it back fifty years and it wouldn't look out of place. It feels just right.

Even has had a little too much wine tonight, avoiding his mom’s warning glare, and he is discussing bad pick up lines with his sisters. The three of them are probably a little too loud, but he doesn’t care.

He is still lightheaded and giggly as he goes to take a piss. He’s hot, too, but the bathroom is slightly cooler than the rest of the place, and it feels nice. He washes his hands in cold water, still smiling over the pick up lines they just talked about. Some boring, like asking about what time it is, and some just silly ‘Is that a mirror in your pocket? Cause I can see myself in your pants!` _Hilarious._

Even looks up when he hears someone coming out of one of the booths and in the mirror he meets eyes with a guy. Blond. Cute. Kinda serious looking. The guy stares, and it feels like he has seen him before. _No_. It feels like he should know him, from before.

He doesn’t though. The guy shoots him a smile and suddenly he’s all broad smile and broad shoulders and golden curls that bounce as he comes closer.

Even’s throat feels dry, and suddenly he wishes he actually knew some good pick up lines. He doesn’t, so he just smiles back instead.

The guy starts to wash his hands. As he dries them he sends Even a quick look. “Do you know what time it is?”

Even chuckles. He knows it’s wrong, but his half-drunk brain tells him that the guy is hitting on him, and he can’t stop himself. “I like you,” he says. “You wanna get out of here?”

The guy looks confused. “Aren’t you here with company?”

Even nods. Right. _Shit, shit, shit_ , what can he say? “Yeah, I’m here with my family, I just… wanna take a smoke. Get some fresh air. Wanna have some air?”

The guy stares at him for a moment, then he nods. “That’s a good idea, actually. It’s too hot.”  

“Yeah, come on” Even grins, and leads the way. “Must be the climate change, huh? This heat?”

“Hm, actually I think this is pretty normal for like the ten days a year they have sun up here. My sister tells me so, anyway. And, yeah, the climate change will probably make the summers colder in Norway, not warmer. Because the Gulf Stream is moving away and stuff.”

And yeah. The cutie is smart. He doesn’t sound like a know-it-all, though. His cheeks are pink and he sends Even a quick look. Is he nervous?

They step outside, where it’s still bright, and the only sign of nighttime is the slightly cooler air. Even feels giddy as he leans against the wall outside. “Shit, the whole Gulf stream,” he mutters, and almost forgets to reach for his cigarettes, as he gets lost in the guy’s green eyes.

The guy smiles. “Yeah. I’m Isak, by the way.” He shakes his head as Even offers him a cigarette.

“Even.”

They shake hands and smile.

While Even takes his first drags of his cigarette, he learns that Isak is bright, brilliant and funny, and he’s apparently visiting his older sister for the summer.

“You’re from Oslo, too, right?” Even asks.

“Yeah,” Isak smiles. “I don’t sound like I’m from here, do I? But, yeah. I might move up here next year though. I mean, to Trondheim.”

“Oh yeah? To study?”

“Yeah, I’m thinking about going to NTNU. And I guess it’s not so bad that my sister lives this close.”

“So, you and your sister are close?”

Isak frowns. “Nah, not at all, to be honest. But we’re working on it.”

Even nods. _Working on it_. That’s how he feels about most things.

Isak sends him another quick glance. “You’ve graduated, right?”

”Yeah,” Even sighs, and thinks for a moment. “I don’t know what I want to do next, to be honest. I’d like to make movies, and I have applied to some schools. But I don’t know. I might want to keep it as a hobby.”

He takes a shaky breath and admits something he hasn't told anyone: ”I feel kinda stuck, not knowing what to do next.”

Isak tilts his head and looks him in the eye. ”You don’t have to decide yet, you know. You could take a year off, working.”

Even smiles. ”Yeah. That might happen, actually. I have a job at KB, and I kinda like that.”

”Cool. So you get lots of tips, then?”

Even flashes one of his flirty slash self deprecating smiles. “Sure do.”

Isak laughs then, and watches as Even finishes his smoke. Even feels like he’s floating. They don’t talk that long but their talk flows easily. Isak listens as if Even’s words are something he's been waiting all his days to hear. From what Isak is saying, Even can tell he is thinking deeply, and he seems to be thinking several ahead of what Even is capable of. In his words are a grumpy honesty but also a natural kindness that seems to be a part of who he is. That is, if Even is honest, the most attractive feature he’s seen in a guy for quite some time.

Before they part ways Isak reveals that it wasn’t just a line to ask Even for the time: he’s a little early and he’s waiting for his sister. Even smiles to himself, relieved that he didn’t jump the guy because of something he thought was a boring pick up line.

They exchange numbers. Even doesn’t know what that means, but he hopes it means _something_.

“I’m just staying for a few days,” he admits, “but it would be cool to see you again.”

“Yeah, I’d like that,” Isak says, and the teasing nature of his smile makes it difficult to breathe. When Even goes back to his family, he’s still smiling, but his giggles are replaced by a fluttering feeling in his belly. As they finish their dinner, his eyes drift to Isak’s blond curls in the other part of the room more than once. It’s silly, of course, and Even doubts that more will come from that first meeting. He still can’t help it.

*

Even can’t bear the thought of not seeing Isak again. The next day he sends Isak a text and they agree to meet at the lake by the camping site to spend some time in the sun. It’s still too hot, and the air is thick, but the water helps some and the company helps even more. They swim and talk about music and movies and everything and nothing. The whole time Even struggles not to stare at Isak’s lips or get lost in his eyes.

Later that day, Isak shows him the ground of an old iron mine; the only tourist sight in the area. Isak talks as if he knows the place, even if he’s just been there a week longer than Even. Even listens carefully and notices that Isak gets excited when he talks about how they built the mine. Even could listen to him forever, talking about the things he loves.

The day after that Even has to spend some time with his family, but he still finds time to have a beer with Isak at the diner in the evening.

Those summer days and evenings with Isak are magical and Even wants them to stretch out like forever. It’s like a summer dream. A short week of sunshine-bright days at the lake, and late nights out. Days of laughter and elbows shoved into one another’s side with wide smiles. Even memorizes the way that Isak’s eyes grow wide before he laughs, and crinkle up when he fully gives in to the laughter.

Isak is so beautiful it’s impossible to stay away. He’s maybe not beautiful in a classic way but his large green eyes hold such intelligence and serenity that it’s impossible not to be captured by them. When Isak smiles and laughs Even can't help but smile along, too. To be in Isak’s company feels like being someone, like being warmed in summer rays.

They talk and play games and share silent moments together. It’s tempting to tell Isak everything, also about how last year was hell. Something holds him back, though. Probably fear. He can feel that Isak is holding something inside too, whatever it is.

And maybe that’s just how it’s supposed to be, with a short summer meeting like this.

Those summer days spent with Isak in the sun, by the lake and in the dimly lit diner teaches Even one thing: Isak is someone special, and he makes Even’s head spin. Even can’t help it; with Isak, it feels like he’s in a dream. The sights and sounds around them are more floaty than usual. It almost feels like his world is spinning, and he constantly needs to sit down. Or drag Isak closer. Or both.

*

Luckily, it seems like Even manages to confuse Isak a little, too. The last morning of the holiday, Even drags Isak to the lake, still fully clothed and laughing as the sun peeks over the horizon. He knows he acts a little silly, but he doesn’t really care.

Isak protests, halfheartedly trying to pull out of Even’s grip, “I’m wearing jeans!”

“You can take them off, if you’d like!” Even offers, tightening his hand around Isak’s wrist and tugging him in deeper, so that the waves lap at his knees. “We can go skinny dipping.”

Isak grows stiff under his touch, but shakes his head, “This is fine. Or, I can swim in my boxers.”

He starts to open his jeans, and, well, Even must admit that it’s a little wiser than to swim fully clothed, so he steps out of his pants as well, and leaves them on the grass next to the lake. Then he drags Isak with him and steps out in the water.

At that moment, everything is beautiful. The water is fucking cold, but not as cold as the sea would be- The early morning sunlight, soft and diffuse, gives way to the first strong rays of the day, the ones that bring true warmth. The air becomes sweeter; birds are singing, and Even can feel the faint beginning of the heat of the day.

Isak laughs, and Even’s breath catches in his throat as he meets Isak’s gaze. Sunlight paints Isak's cheeks pink and hair golden; it plays over his chest and arms, alighting softly on his skin. The light gives his eyes just the right glimmer as he drops them to the water.

Even takes another step, deeper still, “well, come on, then.”

Isak follows him.

The water is freezing, of course, so early in the morning. It doesn’t matter. Isak’s eyes shine with laughter and everything is bright and everything feels magical.

The water glitters around them and all over them and on Isak’s eyelashes. Isak is delightfully competitive, as always, and there’s laughter, and Even wants this banter between them to stretch on and last forever.

 _No_. Even wants Isak to kiss him. Like Romeo kisses Juliet. Just to see, just to feel if this feeling is what he thinks it is. So Even teases, and they banter, and duck, and hold their breaths in the silent water.

Everything slows down, down there. Between them tiny bubbles shoot to the surface. His hair, weightless and waving, frames Isak in front of him. Behind Isak, the underwater world of the lake fades to black. Isak’s eyes are dark, staring at him through the water. Even is bursting, but more with feelings than with lack of air.

He moves forward and kisses Isak. It’s a surprise-kiss. A sweet attack. A test. Will Isak allow it or push him away?

Isak’s lips are warm in the chill water and Even feels Isak’s muscles twitch and react, and he lets out his air and floats to the surface. Even follows him, unable to hide his grin as they stare at each other. _They kissed!_

“That’s cheating!” Isak says, acting annoyed, but he can’t hide his surprised smile. The relief washes over Even like a warm wave and he grins impossibly wide. They kissed, and Isak doesn’t push him away.

Isak demands to try once more. _Hell yeah_. Even buzzes with anticipation. They can do that.

They go down a second time and Even knows he must wait, this time.

They stare at each other in the silence and darkness and Even waits and then… Isak closes the gap and Even immediately has soft lips caressing softly over his own. The kiss is so light, so tentative that it makes Even ache. Something holed up so deep in the pit of Even’s gut bursts, uncoils, heats up at the first simple light brush of Isak’s mouth.

Isak reaches out and touches Even’s face. His fingertips trail down his cheek to the square corner of his jaw, down his neck, and over his chest. His hand comes to rest on Even’s waist, with his fingers curled around his side.

They float to the surface, still kissing. Their legs bump and tangle. Isak wraps one arm around Even’s waist and tugs him close, and then it’s the brush of hair against his legs, coarser along their shins, so smooth where inner thigh touches inner thigh.

They pull apart and take shaky, shallow breaths. Isak’s eyes hold his, and Even can only stare back, absorbing all the details of Isak, this close. Variations of color in Isak’s eyes, and the individual hairs of his eyebrows, and the creases in his lips. There’s stubble coming in on his chin and jaw.

Isak’s eyes drop to Even’s lips as he slips his hand up into the wet curls at the back of Even’s head, and surges forward again. Even felt the expanse of Isak’s chest against his, and a second later, Isak’s mouth, lower lip, upper lip, a hint of tongue between them. Isak presses. Even tilts and opens and nudges, and it deepens, sweet and wet, growing into an urgent thing between them.

The wet, warm sensation drives Even wild. To taste Isak like this, to lick into his mouth, and welcome him in, is everything. And he can’t help smiling into the kisses. They both kick hard to stay afloat, Even’s hands on either side of Isak’s face, Isak’s hands sliding down and cupping Even’s ass, pulling him up. Even wraps his legs around Isak’s hips, and Isak shudders against him.

Someone shouts and interrupts them, and Isak pulls back, but as they get out of the lake to get dressed, it’s like a dream and Even’s blood is singing _we kissed we kissed we kissed_.

*

That night, Isak meets Even at the end of the dock, where his legs are swinging in the empty space between wood and water. Even smiles up at him, hazy, and holds out the joint to him.

Isak raises his eyebrows, “That’s not a cigarette.”

“Sure isn’t,” Even smiles as Isak settles down next to him, and bumps his shoulder against Isak’s. “I found it in my backpack. I don’t smoke much weed anymore, but I couldn’t resist it.”

Isak grins as he examines the little joint in his fingers. “I guess it’s been a while with me, too.” He holds it to his mouth and takes a drag.  

When he returns the joint he leans in so that he’s pressed closer to Even, their thighs touching in a long line.

Even feels dizzy. He blinks and sways, and somehow he manages to drop the joint into the lake below.

Isak starts to laugh. Actually, he laughs until he cries, and Even shoves him into the water. The problem is, that Isak grabs hold of his leg, and drags him into the water, too. They laugh, and laugh, and laugh. Isak is beautiful and the world is spinning and Even doesn’t want it to stop.

Of course, he knows it will stop.

As they get out of the water, shivering in the cold, he mumbles; “I’m leaving tomorrow.”

“You’re what?” Isak shakes his head, “I thought you were staying longer?” He embraces himself, like he’s trying to get warmer.

Even sits down in the grass. It feels like everything, including his wet clothes, are dragging him down. “Well, we’re going back. Back to… work and everything.”

Isak stares at him. He sits down next to him. “So. This is it, then?”

Yeah, this is it. The water ripples and lap at the shore, repetitive, consistent, and the sound lulls Even’s frustration into quiet resignation, sadness weighing his limbs down, instead. He lets his hand inch towards Isak’s on the grass, slowly, until he’s able to wrap Isak’s hand in his own, fingers laced together.

Even wants to ask Isak if they will meet again, but he doesn’t dare to. Instead, he tugs Isak in, releasing his grip on Isak’s hand, and wrapping his arms around him.

 _Fuck_ , they’re both so wet, and cold. Isak leans in, presses his mouth to Even’s. When Isak tangles one hand in the back of Even’s hair, and pushes him down, flat on his back in the sand, Even realizes two things: Isak’s kisses are unbelievably sweet and he wants this to be more than a summer fling.

Isak’s mouth is soft and sweet and Even lets his tongue dip into his mouth. He lets his hand trail down Isak’s chest, settling against his hip and squeezing just hard enough to draw a gasp from his throat.

Spurred on by the sound, Even flips Isak onto his back and leans in, nipping at Isak’s bottom lip before trailing a series of wet, little kisses across Isak’s jaw and down the column of his throat.

Isak drops his head back, letting his eyes drift open, and reaches out to brush Even’s hair out of his eyes. The slick drag of Isak’s tongue against his own is intoxicating, warm and wet and when Isak rocks his hips up, pressing himself against Even’s thigh, the hitch of his breath is unmistakable. _Fuck_ , this is really happening.

“This doesn’t have to mean anything,” Isak mutters, “if you don’t want it to. I just…”

Right. Even swallows. “Yeah, sure. I guess this could be like a summer thing?”

“Uh, yeah.”

And Even knows he should be relieved that this is just a short thing. He doesn’t have to tell Isak about his episodes, or how he fucks up, he can just be here and now in this dream bubble with Isak. Still, everything is so easy with Isak, and everything feels so right, and he wishes he could tell Isak everything.

Even bears down on him, then, pressing in closer. Isak slips a hand past the waistband of his pants, and cups the swell of Even’s ass with his palm.

“Isak,” Even mutters, “not here.”

Isak hums an apology, withdraws his hand, and looks at Even, desire written in his eyes. “Lea is out tonight.” He sits up, tangling his fingers into Even’s hair. “Fuck, Even, can I take you home tonight?”

Even swallows, but there’s no doubt when he answers:

“Of course.”

*

“Are you sure about this?” Isak asks, pressing his lips to the inside of Even’s knee where it is hooked over his shoulder, “You’re shaking, baby.”

 _Baby._ Even squeezes his eyes shut, nods, and then blinks them open again. In the half-lit room Even can just make out the bob of Isak’s throat as he swallows. His lips are puffy, kiss-bitten red and soft, and the scarlet flush of his face has migrated, overtaking his chest, and moving down, down, following the trail down between his thighs.  

“Tell me if you want me to stop,” Isak says. His eyes are so dark, so dark and Even could drown in them.

The two of them are sprawled out across Isak’s bed and their wet and sandy clothes are on the floor. Even is laid out flat on his back, and Isak has one of his legs thrown over his shoulder, while the other has been pushed aside, leaving Even open, vulnerable to Isak’s touch.

“I will,” Even promises, nodding again.

Isak leans in then, lips pressing a messy kiss to Even’s inner thigh as he works a fingertip, coated in lube around Even’s rim, taking only a moment to tease before he’s pressing the finger in entirely. Even’s little gasp turns into a sigh within a moment, though, and after a moment he is wriggling under Isak’s touch. Even hears Isak's breath go ragged before he feels the new, slow but relentless slide of Isak's finger into his arse. Even hears himself make this horrid mewling sound. He clamps his lips closed. He knows if he doesn't, he's going to beg.

Isak's other hand comes to rest on his hips, warm and reassuring. "How's that?"

"So good," Even sighs.

"Good. Good." And Isak sounds genuinely pleased. Not gloating, but excited and nervous and happy. He starts to fuck Even with his whole finger. And Even wants to burst out of his skin with it.

"You're so soft," Isak murmurs to him wonderingly.

Even realizes that Isak can’t have done this much before, either. It’s sort of a relief. Even's face flames where he's got it buried in his arms. But then Isak pushes his finger back inside, and all Even manages is a rather desperate moan. Isak turns his finger this way and then that on each new stroke. He pushes in a little harder, and Even gasps.

"Did I hurt you?"

Even shakes his head. "No." He holds himself still and open and lets Isak finger-fuck him – and it's brilliant and wicked and dirty. "Isak?"

"Yeah." Isak's finger continues screwing into him, and his voice has gone deep and low.

“More,” Even breathes, “please.”

Isak stills. Even can practically hear him thinking in the stunned silence. "But… this is my whole finger."

Even can't help but smile at that. "Then I suspect I'm asking for two."

"Oh," Isak says. "Oh. You're sure?"

Even nods.

Isak obliges, mouthing lazily at Even’s length when he adds another finger, slick and sure.

Even feels the resistance of his body giving way – and then there's the slow, wonderful burn of it, up and up and up. Isak pushes in, turning his wrist, and it sends a tingling heat straight into Even's cock. Even can no longer stay still for it.

"Yeah?" Isak asks.

Even's eyes flutter closed, and he lays his head back down, lifting his hips for Isak's fingers. "Yesss. Damn, you’re good at this."

Isak beams at him. Even drops his head, because it's too much having Isak look at him like that. Isak withdraws his fingers, pushes them back in, withdraws, pushes back in, each time going just a bit farther, only the slightest bit. Even gets so lost in it, his head goes slightly foggy and muddled and empty in this wonderful way that makes him feel like he's safe no matter what, that it's okay to feel this good, to need this much, because Isak keeps giving it to him.

The slick friction is heaven. It's bloody perfect. And yet his body feels like it's climbing toward something. Something he can't even hope to grasp onto.

Isak keeps fingering Even until Even is on the verge of tears, trying to rock his hips so that Isak’s fingers can brush over that spot again, and again, and again, and…

Even lets out a little noise that Isak captures with a kiss, chaste and short, while he still works his fingers in and out of Even. Isak ceases the twisting motion. He thrusts with his arm now, just holding his fingers straight and still as he fucks. Lightning erupts up Even's spine. He obeys his body's desire and holds still for it again. He just lets Isak do it, just lies there with his legs spread so wide they ache and lets Isak make him feel better than perhaps ever he has.

“Yeah,” Isak murmurs, mouth tucked into the damp skin of Even’s neck, “I wanna hear you.”

Even loses himself to the feeling of Isak’s warm breath. Loses himself to the slide of sweat-slick skin, and the fingers of Isak’s fingers pushing in and out of him, and everything builds and builds, and… Even hauls Isak in as close as he can while he chants, “yes, there. Isak, god. Please,” with his head thrown back into a pillow.

Isak curls his fingers around Even’s dick, stroking a few times, sure and quick while Even writhes beneath his touch.

Even whines, “Isak, please.”

“I’ve got you,” Isak times the pull of his hand with the push of his other hand, the sound of skin on skin drowning out everything else, “I’ve got you, Even.”

Even comes in a long sigh, shaking in Isak’s embrace, spilling warm across Isak’s hand. His climax comes to an end, and Even sags into Isak's body. He feels so good, thrumming and sated. Still, he notices the tension in Isak and he’s quick to search for Isak’s dick to return the favour. Isak moans as Even tugs at him. Then he raises his hands and smooths the hair from Even's face. "Even…" His gaze touches everywhere. He bites his lip, closes his eyes, holds his breath… and then he comes. Even watches Isak come, his brows creasing, mouth opening on a groan. His eyes slowly open again, fixing on Even's face, his pupils dilated. He shakes as hot come pulses over Even’s hand, and Even watches Isak's face tense and relax with each wave of it. It's frightening, how beautiful it is to watch. Isak breathes, “thank you,” into Even’s mouth, and it sounds like a prayer.

And Even wonders how he can ever let this go, or let Isak go.

*

They spend the next day together, just hanging out by the cabin Even and his family are staying in, while Even packs his bags. Isak is sprawled on Even’s bed, leafing through one of his books. Even feels sad, but tries to hide it. He’s a big boy, after all, he should be able to handle this. Still, he surprises himself when he asks: “Should we go to the diner and eat with everyone?”

Isak stops leafing through the book and stares at him. “Everyone? Like your family? And Lea?”

“Yeah?” Even answers with an uncertain wince. He puts his last stuff into his backpack and closes it. “Or is it weird?”

Isak leans on his hands, shaking his head. “Not weird. Or, I mean, after these last days with you, nothing is weird.”

“I’ll take that as a compliment,” Even smiles.

Isak nods. Then he pauses, and bites his lip. “It’s just…” he starts. ”I, uhm, just recently told Lea that I’m gay, ” he mutters. ”And I have told her that I have spent some time with you. But I haven't told her _everything_ about you. So. I don’t quite know how to handle that.”

”Ah, right. My family doesn’t know all the details, either. I guess they will assume that we have a thing, just based on how I act around you, ” Even admits.

Isak smiles a quick smile. ”That’s fine, though. I want us to act just like we feel like it. I’m kinda tired of hiding things.”

 _Right._ Act as they feel like. But how is that, exactly? Can Even hold his hand or kiss him? Or not?

Isak must see the confusion in his face. “Like, uhm, is holding hands okay to you?” he asks.

“Yeah, I think so,” Even says. “Maybe not making out in front of the others?”

”I agree.”

Even nods. “And if they ask us about us? What do we say?”

Isak shrugs. “I don’t know. Answer as best as we can?”

Even nods, and doesn’t comment that he can’t know what to answer when he doesn’t know what this thing they have is, at all. Well, he’s good at being vague, when he needs to. He’ll find a way to manage. He sits down next to Isak, leans in and kisses him gently. Isak’s lips are warm, tempting. “So, a family dinner, then. It doesn’t seem too... serious to you?”

“Nah,” Isak smiles and pulls him closer. “I’m kinda curious to see your family.” They stare into each other’s eyes. Isak’s eyes are impossible to read. But there’s an openness in them that takes Even’s breath away. Even leans in tangles his fingers into Isak’s hair and leaves soft kisses up and down Isak’s neck. Isak lets out something between a whimper and a giggle, but he doesn’t pull away.

“Tickles,” he mumbles. Even smiles, and moves his way back to Isak’s soft, warm lips. He leans in so their foreheads touch. Fuck, he can’t believe this soon will be over. He doesn’t want to believe it.  

*

The gathering with their families turns out to be kind of a weird situation, but sweet. Even guesses that his family is this “camping site mood” that he has witnessed once or twice before, where they don’t mind talking to or eating with complete strangers. And Isak’s sister doesn’t seem to mind, either.

“So you’re Even,” Lea says, as she greets Even. “I’ve heard about you.” She has Isak’s eyes; they’re just as intelligent and serene. Even smiles his best smile and is relieved that his own sisters don’t mention how much he has been talking about Isak. They send him some knowing looks, though.

The dinner goes surprisingly well. The food is great, and Even feels good where he’s sitting right next to Isak. Their siblings seem to get along great, and Even’s parents aren’t too embarrassing. It’s okay. In fact, he could get used to this.

The only problem is that Even and his family are leaving in about two hours, and Even has no idea if he’ll ever see Isak again after this. He feels like he misses Isak already. It doesn’t help that they’re sitting right next to each other. He wants to kiss Isak, and touch him. And Isak is giving him these long looks that he just can’t ignore.

“You okay?” Isak asks, and Even can only smile and shrug. What can he say? That everything is shit because he wants more than this?

“What about you?”

Isak shrugs, too. Then he takes a deep sip of his beer and says that he has something he needs to talk to Even about. He leads the way away from the others’ questioning looks and now Even is here, shivering and wanting, being fucked in a public bathroom.

This is not what Even had thought would happen when Isak asked 'for a word' but when he objects to the bathroom, it’s mostly for show. He’s loving it. Isak’s hands are wrapped around his waist and Even’s are locked around his neck. They’re kissing, and clinging to each other, and it’s wonderful.

When they break apart for air, Even rests his forehead against Isak’s and gathers some much-needed oxygen. Isak’s smirk tells him everything and Even smiles back. Isak is laughing, and teasing, while his hand is wrapped around Even’s dick, and Even can’t think straight. He really tries to pretend that he’s offended by the public bathroom and everything, but it’s not really working.

“But don’t think... oh, fuck, God, do that again… don’t think you’re getting out of this just because...” Even’s voice breaks off entirely as Isak swallows his cock down to the base. His strong hands grip Even’s thighs, keeping him in place so that he can’t move, can’t thrust into the slick heat of Isak’s mouth, so that all he can do is stand there, weak-kneed, and take whatever it is Isak wants to do to him.

And what Isak wants to do, apparently, is fucking wreck him in record time. It’s so different from last time, when Isak took his sweet time to drive Even out of his mind. This is something completely different, fast and brutal and so fucking hot that Even has to bite down on his own fist to stifle the noises that want to come pouring out of his mouth.

Not that it matters. The others are probably going to be able to hear them anyway. They’re going to know exactly what they were doing in here, and that thought sends a bolt of unexpected heat through him. He drops his hand to Isak’s head, tangling his fingers in his soft hair and tugging slightly. “I’m, fuck, I’m gonna...”

Isak doesn’t pull back. Instead, his fingers dig into Even’s thighs and he fucking growls around him, and that’s it, Even’s gone, he’s coming so hard that his vision goes white around the edges.

“Oh, my God,” he mumbles, sagging against the wall as Isak stands. Grabs at him with shaky hands, yanking him in for a messy kiss. Even can taste himself on Isak’s tongue, can feel Isak’s low moan vibrate against his lips when Even unbuttons Isak’s jeans one-handed and shoves his hand inside. “Oh, my God, Isak, that was so hot, you have no idea.”

Isak laughs breathlessly, dropping his head to Even’s shoulder, and Even feels a surge of tenderness that has absolutely no business making an appearance in the middle of a bathroom quickie.

“So hot,” he murmurs again, pressing a kiss to the side of Isak’s head and wrapping his fingers around his cock. Isak makes a low, swallowed noise against his neck, his body rocking against Even as he thrusts into his grip. “You’re close, aren’t you? Just from this?” Even whispers. “You know, everybody’s gonna know what we were doing in here. Even if they can’t hear it, they’ll be able to smell you on me...”

“Even,” Isak growls against his skin, fingers flexing where they’re gripping his hips. Even kisses him again, speeds up his strokes, and Isak swears raggedly and comes in hot pulses all over his hand.

He sags against Even when it’s over, pressing close like he’d like to climb inside of his skin. The tile wall is uncomfortably cold against Even’s bare ass, and he has nothing other than his t-shirt or Isak’s to clean up with, and he can still feel himself grinning helplessly as he rubs his free hand up and down Isak’s back, feeling the shuddering aftershocks rolling up his spine.

“Fuck, this was kinda reckless, wasn’t it?” Isak grumbles after a moment, without lifting his head. He’s clearly trying to sound grouchy, but it comes out kind of drowsy and fucked out instead.

Even presses a smiling kiss into his hair. “What was?”

“Fucking in this bathroom. What if they heard us? God, you made so much noise.”

“Well. Could be. I don’t do anything silently,” Even tells him. “Neither do you, it seems. And anyway, this was all your idea, don’t blame me.”

Isak finally lifts his head. His cheeks and the tips of his ears are pink, his hair is wrecked from where Even was grabbing at it, and he’s quite possibly the most beautiful sight Even has ever seen. Even under the flickering yellow fluorescent lights of the rest stop bathroom. “Are you still complaining?”

“Hm,” Even says thoughtfully. Isak gives him an exasperated look, and he grins, pulls him into another kiss. “No,” he says, when they finally break apart. “I’m not complaining.”

“Good.”

Isak has a soft look in his eyes.

Suddenly, Even feels sad.

This whole thing has just been a dream. They have kept it light, and funny, but now he knows it’s over.

Isak must pick up on his mood-shift, because his smile falters and he looks down.

They are both silent as they wash up and get dressed. Even feels cold, even if the evening’s still hot. He doesn’t know how to ask if they’re going to meet again, but then again, Isak doesn’t ask, either.

When they go back into the restaurant to the others, Even feels an aching tightness in his chest and a dull hunger in his stomach and he doesn't know what to do about it.

*

The others greet them with cheers and smiles and as they sit down, Even tries his best to straighten his ruffled clothes and to be cheerful and happy, just like their families. The problem is, that he just doesn’t feel like that at all. He feels like he wants to cry.

He doesn’t want to leave, and he doesn’t want this thing with Isak to be _over_. But he can’t say that, and he can’t show Isak how sad he is. Isak is probably better off without him, anyway. So he sits next to Isak and goes through the motions, although he can hardly eat a bite. Isak seems quiet, too. The light vibe from earlier is gone.  

Maybe Isak regrets it all.

Even closes his eyes for a moment, pained by the thought. Even doesn’t regret anything. Every moment with Isak has been fantastic. He just wishes he could ask Isak what he wants, and finally figure out if they want the same. He wishes he knew. _Fuck it_ , he really wishes they could be more than just a summer fling.

He knows he doesn’t deserve to think like that, really. He always fucks up, he would have fucked up this, too.

And Isak… who knows what Isak wants. Right now it feels like Isak is on another planet. Even has seldom felt so lonely in a room with so many others before.

Well, he just needs to be strong and get through this evening, and then… then it’s over. Then he can go back and forget about everything and it will be _fine_.

He takes a deep sip of his wine and looks at Isak and notices that Isak is sitting silent. His eyes are red and staring before him.  

Even’s stomach shifts uneasily. He leans closer to whisper to Isak: “Are you okay?”

Isak looks back at him. “Yeah, I guess. Or, I don’t know. Are you?”

Even shrugs, not knowing what to say. He notices the way Isak’s eyebrows raise, lined with something between worry and concern and his eyes, his eyes are warm with care. They turn into million shades of green as sunlight from the open windows reflects off them.

Isak leans even closer and lowers his voice. “I know we were kinda joking around earlier, but. I didn’t mean to make you feel bad by… dragging you to the bathroom like that.”

 _What?_ Even blinks, and forgets about the others around them as he stares at Isak. “I don’t feel bad about that!” he whispers.

“No?”

Even feels his cheeks heat up. “No! That was fucking great, I just…” He must have raised his voice because his mom turns her head and looks at them. _Shit._ This won’t work. Even stands up, and drags Isak with him. “We just… gotta talk,” he says to the others.

“Again?” Lea bursts out, sounding exasperated. But Even doesn’t have the time or mindset to pay attention to that.

He pulls Isak with him to the hallway.

“What’s going on?” Isak asks.

They stare at each other, and then Even bursts into words. “Fuck, Isak, it’s just, I guess I’m sad that I have to leave, and we never talked about what would happen… after this.”

There’s a tightness in Isak’s jaw and a blush growing on his cheeks. “Yeah, we never talked about that, huh. So. What do you think?”

 _Oh, fuck._ Even’s mouth runs dry and his stomach turns. He takes a deep breath, mustering all the courage he can find. “I know you said that this thing didn’t have to mean anything, and I am kinda a mess in many ways, and not an easy person, but. I would still like to see you again.”

Isak just stares at him, and blinks.

Even looks at Isak. Really looks at him as if just noticing him for the first time. There’s a shift in Isak’s eyes and they are suddenly unbelievably open and honest. Their stunning, deep green holds a truth that his face can’t hide. Even has no idea what Isak feels, or wants, but it is _something_. And Even knows he needs to fight to keep this.

"God, Isak, I'm sorry, but please don't say this doesn’t mean anything, that it’s just a fling, please. I know I’m maybe pushing things, I’m a mess and you’d be better off without me, but maybe we could try? Fuck, you just make me go wild, and I can’t stop… you’re so fucking funny, and smart and gorgeous, and…”

"Me? You can't stop – what? You think I just want this to be a – oh fuck. No. No, that wasn’t it at all."

Even stares at Isak. His heart beats so fast and hard that it hurts. “No? But I thought we agreed that this was just a summer thing?”

"Yeah…No! I don’t know, it was you, Even, you're the one who, you just, seemed to want to take it easy, and you have no idea, no idea at all, how much I... You’re amazing. I want you so bad, all the time, but I thought you wanted it to just be a fling."

“Fuck. And I thought it was what you wanted.” Even can’t believe it. “I wasn’t lying earlier, I am really a mess,” he mumbles, almost like a warning. Well, it _is_ a warning, in a way. He just can’t find the strength to tell it all right now.

Isak’s eyes are sincere, holding his gaze. “If you haven’t noticed, I’m not that easy either. But Even I want this, and yes, I want to see you again. I guess I misunderstood. I guess we both did.”

"We're goddamn fucking idiots," Even whispers.

They stare at each other. Then something glitters in Isak’s eyes and his lips curl up. Something’s bubbling in Even’s chest, and then they’re laughing and laughing and laughing.

And then they are kissing again, grabbing handfuls of each other, reading each other's bodies with fingers and palms. The wall in the hallway is cool and rough on Even's back, and Isak is warm at his front, and it’s so easy to let his legs part more, to pull Isak in and press his thighs to Isak's waist, and squeeze.

“Oh my god, kids, control yourselves.”

Isak jumps back and Even blushes from head to toe as he notices that his whole family and Isak’s sister have come out to the hallway. Even’s mom looks embarrassingly proud of her own comment, as if she said something witty.

“Uh, hi,” Even mutters, rubbing his neck and glancing at Isak.

“Are we leaving?” Isak asks, in a hoarse voice.

“We couldn’t wait forever on you guys,” Lea says. “So we paid up.” She doesn’t say more but Even notices that she smirks and looks like she has a lot she would like to say.

“This has been very nice,” Even’s dad says. “But we should get ready to go.”

“I don’t get why we gotta travel so late in the day,” Even mutters.

“I know you don’t, dear,” his dad says, followed by giggles from his sisters. “But we have talked about it, we’re stopping by your aunt on our way home. So. Why don’t you say goodbye to Isak while we go out to the car?”

Even feels like a stupid kid, and that’s probably fair since he’s kinda acted like one. He nods. “Okay, sure.”

“I gotta go, too,” Lea says and gives Isak an awkward hug that makes Even wonder if they don’t hug much in Isak’s family. “See you later, little brother.”

Everybody leaves and Isak and Even are alone in the hallway.  

Isak blows out some air and chuckles. “Well, that was embarrassing.”

“Yeah,” Even says. He can’t worry about things being embarrassing right now, though. He can’t believe that he might be able to keep this. He suddenly doesn’t know what to do with his hands so he pushes a hand through his hair. "So... call me up when you come back to Oslo?"

Isak smiles a half smile. "I will. I'll be back in about two weeks. Then we can spend so much time together that you’ll get sick of me. Well, for a year, at least."

“Because you’ll study in Trondheim after that?”

“Yeah, that’s the plan.”

"Yeah, okay, good." Even digs his hands into his pockets and grins.

Isak tilts his head, raises his eyebrows. "What're you smiling at?"

Even steps closer. "You know, Isak, Oslo has excellent places for education. Including science and stuff."

"You don't say."

"Mm. Better weather than Trondheim, too."

"Hardly." Isak smiles, and lets out a breath of air. ”Well, okay, you might be right about that. And I still have a year left before I decide where to study, anyway. Who knows what happens before that.”

”Yeah, who knows.”

They are both grinning now.

Isak takes Even’s chin in his hand and plants a soft kiss on his lips. Even answers with a nose rub, then wraps his arms around Isak and hugs him close, chest to chest, hips to hips. Isak settles his head on Even’s shoulder, and his arms around his waist, and Even exhales, and squeezes harder.

“I don’t wanna go yet, Isak.”

Isak squeezes him back. ”I don’t want you to go.”

Even groans. “Don’t. I’m having a hard enough time leaving as it is.”

“It’s just a couple of weeks, I guess.”

“Yeah. And we’ll Skype. We’ll talk. We’ll have epic phone sex.”

Isak laughs. ”We’re going to be busy.”

“Yeah, I know.”

“Listen, Even,” Isak says, pulling back enough to meet his eye. “When I get back home, I think we should, you know, talk about stuff. So that we don’t end up being idiots again.”

Even knows he’s right. Still, he can’t keep too serious. “Talk about stuff, huh. Sounds ominous.”

“Oh, fuck off,” Isak smiles. He links his fingers into Even's hand and shoots him a look that is just the right hint of softness, a crease at the corners of his eyes.

Even can’t take his eyes off him. ”No, but I get what you mean, Isak,”  he admits. “We should talk. About everything. Good and bad.” He should maybe feel nervous about that, but he doesn’t. As he looks at Isak, he loses himself. All mistakes he has ever made, and there have been many, are gone. Every bad thought is erased. Even knows that Isak’s eyes can see through him sometimes, but he knows they don’t dwell on the darkness. Isak seems to look past every flaw to find the person inside, the real Even.

So, Even isn’t nervous anymore. The only thing he can feel right now is excitement, as well as a hint of sadness for leaving. He kisses Isak once more, and lets go. “Okay, I really gotta go.”

“Right,” Isak says and follows him outside. They hold hands as they go out in the evening sun. “So, you weren’t really disappointed about the bathroom then?” Isak asks, smiling a little.  

“No, I really wasn’t.” Even grins. “I think I expressed loudly how _not_ disappointed I was, actually.”

“True.”

“But you still owe me that hotel suite with champagne. Just so you know.”

Isak lets out a bark of startled laughter. “Deal,” he says, and leans in to kiss Even one last time. It’s slow and soft, and strangely comforting. “Okay. So. See you, then.”

He steps back, but before he leaves, Even pulls him into a warm, tight hug. And oh, it seems like Isak can hug just fine. Isak’s hug is stronger than anything Even’s ever known, as if holding him isn't quite enough, Isak has to feel every ounce that Even is pressing into him. In that moment, Even feels more alive than he has been in very long. There are times Even feels like a butterfly who needs the warmth and safety of a cocoon. That's what Even feels right now. And there’s comfort in knowing that Isak will wrap his arms around him again sometime. Even breaths him in. “See you.”

Leaving Isak there still feels a little sad, but a lot easier now that Even knows it’s not the end. As he goes to his family waiting by the car, he smiles to himself. No matter what happens next, he knows that he’ll meet Isak again, and right now, that’s the only thing that matters.

**Author's Note:**

> This story is part of the LLF Comment Project, which was created to improve communication between readers and authors. 
> 
> First of all, don’t feel obliged to comment. If you don’t feel like commenting, that’s fine! I just wanna say that I invite and appreciate all kinds of feedback, including:
> 
>   * Short comments
>   * Long comments
>   * Questions, including questions about plot and ideas
>   * Constructive criticism. If you ever want to concrit, don’t hold back in your comments on AO3 or here on Tumblr. Btw you can find me on Tumblr as [hjertetssunnegalskap1](https://hjertetssunnegalskap1.tumblr.com/) and on Instagram as [hjertetssunnegalskap](https://www.instagram.com/hjertetssunnegalskap/)
>   * You don’t have to write a lot, you can type “<3” or ❤ as extra kudos
>   * 👀 if I surprised you
>   * comment 👍 if you like where I’m going
>   * or whatever emoji you like, really
>   * Reader-reader interaction, that means that if you feel like commenting other comments, that’s just great!
> 

> 
> LLF Comment Builder  
> This author replies to comments. If I miss a comment, that’s most likely a mistake. I invite and appreciate feedback at all times/ any time you read it. Some comments on my old fics have really made my day.
> 
> If you don’t want a reply, for any reason (sometimes I feel shy when I’m reading and not up to starting a conversation, for example), feel free to sign your comment with “whisper” and I will appreciate it but not respond!


End file.
